I know I say this often, but in case you haven't heard me lately, using play to understand, interact & deepen your relationship with your child is MAGIC! I have play sessions with my children regularly. We sometimes get off our routine, and I am quickly reminded by misbehavior (or misguided behaviors) that my children need  and deserve that one-on-one playtime with me. 

Last week my four year old got in trouble on the playground at the end of the school day. He is a wonderful child and a human child - so yes, the boy gets in trouble. For some reason many people are delighted to find out that my children act up in misguided ways just like all children. At any rate, he was in trouble and I was finding myself less than empathic to his situation. I decided we would have a play session.

We got home, ate a snack and went up to our playroom. I used the magic skills (FEEL) for the next 30 minutes. As I typically do, I thanked my son for our time and told him I enjoyed our special play time as we left the playroom, and he was rather quite which is not typical for him. He turned to me and apologized (as out of thin air) for his unkind behavior at school that afternoon (he was actually very specific with his apology). Now, I did not mention the incident or anything having to do with the incident during our 30 minute play session. I had actually almost forgotten about the playground situation. And boom, there it was an opportunity to explore to whom he should apologize and perhaps a peace offering delivery that might accompany the apology. You have to try it to experience the magic, and trust me when I say that magic blows me away in new ways every week. Play is a powerful tool for parents to deepen their relationship with children, but the magic is in the play skills.

 Happy playing!

I know! I know! I said I would post material from the fabulous Education Forum and I did not do it. I sincerely thought I wouldn't mind blogging content from the sessions I attended or from my presentation on tips for exploring your educational options. And then I found myself avoiding the blog.  I just wasn't sure how to recapture the organic nature of live speaking engagements. The content from each session, although planned out in terms of what would be covered, ended up being an exchange with the interaction between participants and speakers. When I considered blogging my bullet points - I felt that the bullets would only leave the reader with more questions. 

I really am happy to share information on the forum with anyone that has specific questions. I think a better approach might be to leave questions and comments here on the blog or e-mail me and I can attempt to give anyone interested the information they seek.

Namaste'

Kelli

Thank you to the many people that supported Education Forum 2010. What a great event! I'll be posting about the event all week, and asking speakers and participants to also post on the various sessions. 

Look for more!

Education Forum 2010

“Education and the Individual needs of our Children”

January 30^th, 2010

Where: Inman Park United Methodist Church 

1015 Edgewood Avenue, Atlanta, GA  30307

Cost: Free

Purpose:  To provide information on educational options as well as opportunities to hear from experts and parents on educational topics for in-town families

Hosted by: Effective Parenting, LLC and Inman Park UMC

Agenda:

Coffee served at 9am – general admission (free)

Opening Session -            9:15am - 10:15am  

 “5 tips for parents when exploring educational options” - Dr. Kelli Ritter, Effective Parenting, LLC

Session I-                         10:30am-11:30am

Option 1- The Cooperative School Experience, Denise Price, Dave & Emily Howland, IPCP

Option 2- Public or Private, Elizabeth Hearn, Mother and Educator

Option 3- The Middle School Years, Panel Discussion Haley Kilpatrick, Girl Talk, Inc., Betsy Bockman, Inman Middle School, Jessica Dehart, A Brilliant Life Foundation

Lunch and Information Tables:  11:30am-12:30pm

Lunch will be served in the Community Room along with Information Tables

$10 donation for lunch will help support Children’s Programs at IPUMC

Session II-                         1:00pm – 2:00pm

Option 1- The Charter School Option, Stephen Valrie of Intown Academy and Andrew Lewis of GCSA

Option 2- Organizing Students for Academic Success, Michelle Grey & Michelle Cooper, Student Organizers of Atlanta

Option 3- To Test or Not to Test? That is the Question, Dr. Kathryn Grogg

Psycho-educational evaluations explained

Session III-                        2:15pm – 3:15pm

Option 1- Cumberland Academy of Ga., Debbi Scarborough

A mother’s story of creating a school for her son and advice to other parents of children with special needs (LD, ADHD/ADD, Asperger’s and Autism)

Option 2- Happy Parents of Grown Children, Panel Discussion Mollie Korski, Midge Sweet, Millie Patterson, Leslee Samuleson

Option 3- Home Schooling 101, Dawn Covin and Keicha Barnum

Session IV -             3:30pm – 4:30pm

Option 1- Energy Tools: parents & teachers helping students with special needs, Belinda Horne, MS

Option 2- Relax: It’s crazy to be school crazy, Marcia Prewitt Spiller, Head of School, The Children’s School

Option 3- Demystifying Private School Admissions, Tricia Brock Madden, Atlanta School Insight Educational Consulting, Founder and Director of Admissions, St. Benedict’s Episcopal Day School

Some parents have asked what I cover in my parenting classes so I thought I might blog about it. Each time I teach the parenting course it seems a little different based on the individual concerns of each parent attending. However, the basic structure I use includes easy to learn play skills as well as basic parenting skills from Individual Psychology. I have also been increasingly interested (as a mother and an educator) in Happiness and Positive Psychology research and how that can help parents rear healthy, happy children. We actually cover a great deal in the 4 weeks, but it is all immediately useful for parents.

My first introduction to parenting classes was as a helper/tag-a-long for my supervisor in my first internship. I worked as an intern for 10 months at a psychiatric hospital for children. It was a painful experience to intern at this particular site, however, I came away from that experience with an understanding of the incredible benefits of play therapy and a sincere desire to run parenting classes in the future. The parenting classes my supervisor conducted were actually for a school system not far from our city. He used a 10-11 week model with the Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) books. The program is still one of my favorites and a book I recommend to all parents. I used the skills we taught in the STEP classes back at the hospital with the kids. The skills became among my most useful ways of helping families. The only part I thought was missing in those classes (and in the book) was teaching parents the benefits and the basic skills of play therapy. Now, there is Filial Therapy. Filial is the practice of teaching parents to become therapeutic agents with their children through child-centered play therapy. Fabulous as Filial Therapy is - I wanted to use more of the Adlerian or Individual Psychology parenting skills in combination with Adlerian play skills to help parents with everyday life with kids. Not necessarily parents and/or children with specific issues that need therapy - but rather an overall approach to parenting and skills that parents can use all the time to have better communication, understanding and relating with their children.

I continued to study both play therapy and parent education, and use those skills in working with children and families throughout my Ph.D. program. When I completed my degree and ventured out to teach parenting classes (now with a child of my own by the way), I was more convinced than ever that combining STEP with Adlerian Play Skills was the most beneficial way to help parents. I decided to write a book with those concepts to use in my classes and hopefully help many more parents. An interesting aspect of the play skills, and really all of the parenting skills, is that while they are intellectually simple to comprehend - they take practice and are much more easily absorbed by parents if the can see them in action. Thus the DVD companion to the Come Play with Me! book was born. 

Now you have the whole story. Well, most of the story. I continue to expand my parenting classes to cover new research or information, but I have found that with the exception of the exciting research in Positive Psychology and Happiness - the Adlerian play skills and parenting skills combo cannot be beat for truly helping parents. As a new year begins, a new round of parenting classes begin - come join other eager parents as we explore together what it means to be an "effective parent".

Cheers to the New Year!